Mourning … my loved ones
While grief is the inward expression of loss, mourning is the outward expression of that loss.
It wasn’t long ago when mourners, having lost their loved ones to death, wore black… sometimes even for a whole year! In the past, mourning has been largely influenced by the rituals of religious beliefs, cultural customs and society’s rules. However, it is important to follow the path that will move you through the mourning process with the most ease, after all, this is for you.
Mourning may include, visiting a loved ones gravesite, making a scrapbook of your loved one, gathering with friends and family to remember and share stories of your loved one, making a memorial, planting a tree on your loved ones behalf, scattering ashes at a designated place and time, writing their story or making a charitable donation in their name. These are just a few examples of mourning. Listen to your heart for what is appropriate for you.
A Mourner may appear reflective, sad, insulated or socially withdrawn. Some mourners may not show any outward signs and may even act like they have it all together. Be available to them, nevertheless.
When referring to a death, the mourning process is all about adjusting to life without a loved one. This can be very challenging since the initial emotions that surface after the loss are more about resistance to what happened, rather than to surrendering to this new reality.
Many things change with the loss of a loved one. For instance, the hopes and dreams you shared together are gone, your plans have changed and your ability to have a normal conversation with them is very much impaired.
Now, life is radically different! Mourning allows room for all the transitions that will need to take place to get back to a healthy and happy life. Despite missing your loved one, you will eventually build the courage and desire to get back to living a life in which they no longer live.
The loss of your loved one can leave a huge empty space that lasts for a very long time. Even though your loved one will never be forgotten, you will need to make new emotional connections and form new relationships. Your life will begin to change. You will need to learn to cope with the painful changes of loss and in many cases; you will need to learn to make decisions alone.
Most importantly, however you choose to do it, mourning is a chance to recover and to heal your heart so you can gain courage and confidence again to get out and begin to live in life once more …RIP, little souls